When I finally landed in Los Angeles, I knew there were many teachings in store for me. What I never suspected was that so many lessons would come from my roommate. I never thought this unassuming man in his mid-fifties would help me let go of so much. Now, before you get an image of a guy who looks like a modern day spiritual guru, let me give you some facts about him. He is a self proclaimed conspiracy theorist who is extremely introverted. He has shared with me that he doesn't like people, rarely comes out of his room, and I have never heard him shower or seen him do laundry in the 8 months I’ve lived there. He has lived in the apartment for ten plus years, and I don’t believe he has cleaned once. This is coming from the five hours it took me to clean the bathroom and kitchen the first day I lived there. I felt like I was in an infomercial doing a before and after demonstration. Everything went from brown to white in just a matter of minutes! I was just missing the crowd clapping and the voice of the “call now” lady giving the 1-800 number. I remember when I was done, exhausted and dripping with sweat, I knocked on his door and asked him to come out and look at the bathroom. I was so excited, “Look! It is all clean!” His blank stare into the bathroom told the story; then he looked at me and said, with a roll of his shoulders, “Ok.” I remember the feeling, and his thoughts. He said “ok” in a way where he didn't understand, his thoughts were saying, “It wasn't even dirty.” I was floored, it was at that moment that I realized that what is important to me is not always what is important to others, no matter how basic it is. I knew that from that moment on I would be doing all the cleaning in the place.
My ego reared up as I felt frustrating thoughts come in, “I am not cleaning up after this guy again, he needs to be responsible for his own mess. He needs to be held accountable as a roommate.” Then I was reminded by the universe that “this is not his way and he will not understand this, it is not important to him. You must accept him unconditionally, he does not owe you anything and there are no rules. There is just his way and your way, no right or wrong way.” For some reason this hit me so profoundly that I instantly accepted him, and his lack of cleanliness. This is a teaching of unconditional acceptance but also a realization that, if there is a way I like something, then I don't have to push it on others. I can just own if for myself and let others be. So now I clean up after him happily, even the disgusting stuff that I would rather not mention as I would like to keep you reading. It seems so funny to me because one of the main issues I had was with other people's germs and hygiene. What was once such a big issue, seems so small now. I can own my happiness more, not needing others to act a certain way in order for me to be at peace. This lesson would save me many of the typical challenges that I, or anyone, would have with a roommate like this. It was a good thing, had I been distracted by this nonsense I would have not seen what was yet to come.
After cleaning I felt like I could be comfortable in the place, but I was still trying to get the grossed out feeling out of my system. So, I took a much needed walk down Vermont Street. As I strolled, sensitized to dirtiness, I started to look around and saw a lot of unclean places. I didn't understand this, just two weeks earlier I took this same walk and saw nothing but beauty, how did I miss all this dirtiness? I realized my perspective had changed, and I was now focused on all the messiness. Then a rush of energy came over me, it is as if I was bopped over the head with consciousness. None of the beauty was gone, it was all there for me to see. All the dirt just gave it the textures and shadows it needed to make it great! Just like the Mona Lisa, which would be nothing without the textures and shadows that gave it the depth it needed to be a masterpiece. Suddenly, it felt like Da Vinci himself was repainting the view right before my eyes. The sun got brighter, the leaves got greener, I saw people smiling as they walked down the street. This was usually my normal mental state, so I was blown away to realize something so small, like dirt, could take me off my game. Then I walked past a homeless man with no shoes, dry cracked feet with sores on them, torn and tattered clothes, a salt and pepper beard that was all tangled and matted. His skin was dark, not because of his ethnicity, but because of the dirt he had accumulated between showers--which if I had to guess had been months. He slowly looked up at me and, as he brought his withered hand up to wave, showed me the deepest pure blue eyes I had ever seen. He smiled, it was a knowing kind of smile, all of a sudden I didn't see anything else but a beautiful human being. He was not less or more, he just was being. This was clearly the universe's way of teaching me the same lesson my roommate was sent to do. Just let go, nothing else matters. Not your environment, not your class, not your clothes and certainly not anyone else. I started to remember how I grew up and at times I had nothing, yet it was those same times I felt life was easier.
As I settled into my new life remembering to keep it simple, I got less and less distracted by things. The small ten by ten room I lived in became a mini sanctuary with my crystals and incense. A salt lamp on my night stand lit up the happy Buddha statue that sat on the ledge of my bed. To me, the little wooden Buddha stood for complete joy. I often imagined him laughing so hard that I could see his belly bounce up and down. I felt richer than I had ever felt in my entire life. My vibration and my skills as a channeler were increasing as well. All of this was happening amongst the chaos that was going on all around me. I felt like I was in the middle of a tornado, yet I was able to stay still in the process. My roommate was not used to having someone live with him, but he was unemployed and could not afford the place by himself anymore. He didn't like anything I did, and was constantly asking me to talk softer, turn down my music, and make sure the dishes were on the right side of the sink. None of these rules he set forth were rules he felt he had to live by. He was passive aggressive with it all. I usually got an email or a note taped to my door. If it was an object of mine that he didn't like somewhere, then I would find it in front of my door each morning when I woke up. None of this bothered me because I knew this was the best way for him to communicate. He didn't know any other way, it wasn't wrong or right, it was just the way he handled things. I just kept sending him loving light, that was the only way I knew how to handle things. It helped me to find peace at times when I did get a little frustrated. I just kept being reminded that none of this matters, not where I put my stuff, if I have to talk softer, or not play my music loud or at all. Nothing was going to take away from me being happy, and nothing did.
I was as far on the happy end of the spectrum as you could get, my roommate however, was on the opposite end, but not as far over as the lady who lives directly below us. I said hi to her the first day I moved in and she scowled at me. I thought I was just imagining things until the next day, I saw her again and introduced myself. “Hi my name is Al,” she looked at me enough to let me know she heard me but not enough to make eye contact. It seemed like she was insulted that I talked to her. “I didn't catch your name,” I said timidly.
“That’s because I didn't give it to you,” as she stormed into her apartment.
“Ok now that didn't just happen did it?” I stood there dazed and confused. I went upstairs and my roommate was standing at the door.
“You didn't just try to talk to the downstairs neighbor did you?”
“Yes, I tried to say hi,” still a little stunned.
“I heard it from my bedroom,” my roommate said, “She is evil, we have been in a feud for a couple years.”
Now I was even more shocked, “Wait, what?” I said just before he started in again.
“She doesn't like me playing my drums or guitar, especially late at night. She has called the cops and the landlord on me. I have reported her a couple times too. She is actually a witch.” I started to laugh, “No she is, she does black magic,” my roommate said emphatically. To be honest, I could feel a heavy sense of darkness in her but I didn't think much of it at the time.
I remember going to bed that night thinking about all the craziness around me when I heard, “smokey… smokey,” increasingly getting louder. It was about 11:30 pm and all I could do was chuckle, thinking, this needs to be a sitcom. I heard my roommate get up to use the bathroom, so I took that time to ask him what that was. He proceeded to tell me that was another neighbor who does that every night between 11:30 and 1:30 am. She is constantly looking for her cat that gets out every day.
“Every day,” I said, thinking of how mad all of this sounded.
“Yes, I yell at her all the time to keep it down,” he said grumpily. I couldn’t help but chuckle, and though I tried to hide it from him, I sense he saw me as he turned away and went back into his room to bed. I smiled, shook my head and crawled into bed finding a deep peace in all the humor around me. I couldn't help but think how amazingly powerful I was becoming by being a still around all this turbulence. I was being light amongst the dark, joy amongst the pain, I was truly free from my environment. I used to have to hang out with only positive people to be positive. Be in the most positive of places to be happy. Only have the nicest things to feel good about myself. I was defined by everyone and everything outside myself. Now, as I fell asleep I knew that I was free.
The next morning I woke up and celebrated in my meditation. I thanked the universe for these teachings and allowing me to see. I was reminded I held the key to unlocking all that I have, and more was to be unlocked in the months to come. I continue to become a more powerful force in this universe. My clients experienced it, my friends saw it, and I continue to be it today. I feel like the limitations are gone and it has allowed me to feel, see, and speak more truth than ever before. As I had mentioned, it has been 8 months since moving to LA and I have been blessed with so many gifts. I realize it isn’t about NOT sweating the small stuff, we cannot ignore it. It is about looking at the teachings in the small stuff. That is what has helped me to stay clear and free of negative emotions. Without those distractions I am more effective and productive in my life. I get to define who I am, and not by what is around me, but by what is in me.
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